Home education rises, with schools left to 'pick up pieces'
Hi Sumitha, really found that article useful. Great work and well written! Thanks for your kind words and for asking, Kirsteen! I love your article , and it is a fact that new parents are learning at the same time , of how to raise a child, perhaps differently of himself was raised. Perhaps call it the copying effect. Here is my example … I came from a fairly strict household, born in , and my father worked very hard to build us our own home.
Back then, a spanking was the sure fix, but when I got mine, I felt really not deserving of the harshness of it, and hate does build up in the heart, when accusations from siblings are embellished , and it all comes down on you… Nevertheless , forgiveness was always there, and thinking. Thinking back , and even as a child, I swore to myself that I would not be as harsh as my father was, when it came to discipline , for I know I would not want my children to feel unjustified of any of it, like I was… Anyway, I learned , and when It came my time to be a parent , and mature, I did want a different way discipline , and bullying from siblings had allot to do with it, I knew it was the problem and set out to not let it happen in my family… But here is where things can backfire, especially when one chooses a gentler personality… In laws and relatives , not so much relatives , but the in laws, who were totally different.
One set was divorced, and mine stayed faithful, and I think that the co-operation of the parents has to be of the most VITAL part of raising a child. Lesson learned, I was more the outcast of the family, looking in on everyone else taking a part in their lives, except myself. And that is what broke up the family and why the divorce happened and I took my own life, unfortunately coming back, I never did get to be a father to my own children… So what is the lesson here??
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Well I think the lesson is that the husband and wife!!! I have not seen my children , since , and my heart aches , but let this be a lesson to other young couples… Do not let the in law parents make the decisions for you, talk honestly with eachother, trust eachother, not desert eachother…. I am so sorry to hear that, Derek.
Positive Discipline 101: How to Discipline a Child in a Way That Actually Works
I hope you will be reconciled with your children soon and will find a way to teach your gentle discipline approach with them. Good luck. Teaching out kids to be disciplined people, and letting natural consequences take place whenever possible, is a very loving act. Any walk of life takes discipline if there is going to be success. I want my kids to succeed! Thanks for the great article. Ouch, sorry it is a rough time for you Rosie. We have been there and we are no longer there, and I can tell you from experience that this too shall pass.
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I wanted to mention that first, because just remembering that simple thing will sometimes help you get through it more calmly. Instead of focusing on getting her clothes on, shift the focus to getting out the door at a certain time.
You can say we need to be out of the house at and to make it more tangible for your child you can set an alarm on the phone or the oven timer etc. I set the timer on my phone for 10 minutes before and snooze it when it rings the first time. The idea is to get out of the house by 2nd alarm and after the 1st alarm, we have 10 minutes. If you are not ready, make the next 10 minutes a fun game to try and beat the clock.
Scoop your child up and giggle as you rush through and what not. Everyday you make it out on time, have a tangible reward….
When you get into the habit, you can drop all these other things, but the habit will still stick. If not see if you can make some time for it… it is a really good book. Any Habit. Hi Rosie, I, like you, have been encouraging my daughter to make decisions throughout her life so she is then responsible for the decisions she makes. She can then blame nobody else. However, I see that the main aim for me, as a parent, is to make sure that the choices my child has to choose from are choices that I am happy for her to make while she is learning how to distinguish between correct or smart choices: ie.
I would present her with options that I had already selected for her to choose from.
She then had the opportunity to select from the options I presented to her. My daughter is now 12 years old and I allow her to select her own clothes from her wardrobe. She is very comfortable in doing that and is confident in her choices. I think she has very good taste in what she wears which gives me confidence in her.
If I feel she has made an error in judgment, which happens occasionally, I feel that I can explain to her that the choice is inappropriate for the occasion and she is happy, usually, to re-select her outfit based on the new information. I do not assume that as she grows older she is not going to be influenced by friends and social pressure, I know she will be, and has been, particularly as she is going through the pressure of her first year in high school! BUT I do believe that as she is learning the responsibility of making her own decisions and experiencing the consequences, I will be there to help her continue to learn and understand how important it is to be true to herself.
Allowing my child to make her own choices means that she gets to choose from a selection of options that I have already censored, until I feel she is ready to be able to distinguish between what constitutes a good option for her from one that is not. I know that one day I am not going to be able to be there for my daughter and she will have to be able to make important decisions for herself. I feel that my job as a mother is to try and show my daughter the way, give her the basics and let her develop her own unique ways of achieving the outcomes. I am very heartened to have found this site and am looking forward to reading about how other parents are dealing with issues of high school as this is very new to me and I feel as though I am living with a different child, at times.
I feel that technology is the biggest problem that I am faced with currently. It feels as though I am having to reign in a runaway horse, ….
Friendship Starter Set
Such good points you bring up, Heather! Thank you! I hope I can be as confident about my daughter and the choices she will be making when she is in high school. I love your article. Im writing in hopes that you can help me. I am needing to clarify my thesis. My current step in the semester is competing an outline and this is where I;m realizing im not sure what my topic sentences will be.
I am passionate about the topic and so that is why i want to write about it. Any help would be appreciated. Hi, Jason. Thanks for reaching out. Do you want to email the details to me at sumitha afineparent.
See a Problem?
I am grateful to have found your website as we have been dealing with some stepped up tantrums lately from our 4 year old daughter. My question is regarding giving choices. Often when my girl is frustrated, she will just refuse to choose and then lose it even worse when we make the choice for her.
One trick I have used is to make the clothes fight each other for her to choose them when getting dressed in the morning. Thank you so much for sharing. We used to have a similar issue with breakfast. And would get more agitated when I made the choice for her.
One day in a huff, I sat her down and we made a list going from Mon to Sun and a breakfast option written next to it. Over the next few days, there was some push back and resistance. Things were tweaked and moved around a little.